Payet left West Ham because post won man of the match

Dimitri Payet has revealed that when a post won the man of the match award instead of him during West Ham’s 1-0 win over Hull back in December, it was the final straw and he knew it was time to pack his bags.

Previously the Frenchmen had cited family problems, and then later, boredom as the reason he wanted to leave the Hammers and rejoin his previous club Marseille, but those lies can now be well and truly be put to bed as Payet’s raging woodwork envy has come to light.

“Against Hull, we won 1-0 and they hit the post four times, In the changing room everyone was happy, but the the man of the match that day was the post,” fumed a jealous Payet.

It’s not the first time Payet has shown animosity towards white tube shaped objects, one only needs to look at the completely unprovoked two footed tackle he made on a corner flag at last summers Euro.

Payet kicks corner flag
The corner flag never recovered from this horror tackle.

Understandably, Payet’s admission already has both sets of post at the Stade Velodrome looking nervous, and are said to now be considering that their futures may lie away from Marseille.

EPLpod: PSG embarrassment takes heat off Arsenal

PSG go one better than Arsenal after squandering 4 goal lead in an historic night at the Camp Nou, Manchester United prepare to play on a pitch harder than concrete in Russia and Manchester City draw a blank against Stoke.

Listen to the latest episode of EPLpod below:

Club in great shape says Wenger after 10-2 agg. defeat

Following Arsenal’s routine exit from Europe, a buoyant Arsene Wenger was marvelling at his sides remarkable consistency having plotted a 3rd straight 5-1 defeat to Bayern Munich in the Champions League.

This is the seventh consecutive time Arsenal have been booted out of Europe at the first knockout stage, showing Brexit leaders just how easy it is, but this was not going to dampen Wenger’s high spirits.

Asked what needed to change at Arsenal after the humiliating defeat, a cocksure Wenger shot back: “What needs to change at this club? What do you mean by that? I think this club is in great shape.”

Comments which will no doubt be music to the ears of fuming Arsenal fans protesting outside the Emirates baying for Wenger’s blood.

Up next for Arsenal is the daunting prospect of non-league Lincoln City in the quarter final of the FA Cup. With any luck, Arsenal should be able to take it to a replay, but no guarantees can be made.

Wenger already has the perfect replacement for Alexis Sanchez

With Alexis Sanchez’ future at Arsenal cast into doubt following a dressing room bust up with team mates, manager Arsene Wenger has moved swiftly to calm fears amongst Arsenal fans after revealing he already has a ready made replacement should Sanchez decide to leave the North London club.

Wenger, always a fan of youth and promoting from within, proved once again that ferocious talent is far from extinct amongst his squad.

Though Wenger’s replacement might surprise some Arsenal fans, the powerful forward might just have that killer instinct they’ve so sorely needed in recent times.

Watch exclusive footage of Wenger’s replacement for Alexis Sanchez below.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BRUcKlejcJO/

Thrifty Liverpool spent just £15.6m on sacking Brendan Rodgers

The sound of satisfied accountants back-slapping was emanating from Anfield on Monday after it was revealed that Liverpool had managed to make Brendan Rodgers go away and move to Scotland for only £15.6m of fans’ hard earned cash.

Rodgers who came to Liverpool armed with plenty of character and a handful of white envelopes in June 2012, was rewarded with a new four year contract after finishing as runners up to Manchester City in 2014. A shrewd move by the Liverpool hierarchy ensuring Rodgers would receive maximum compensation 5 months later when they sent the Northern Irishmen packing.

Now at Celtic and with only those millions in his pocket to his name, Rodgers has been forced to seek comfort elsewhere by breaking the Lisbon Lions’ record of 26 consecutive domestic games unbeaten. Rodgers’ Celtic currently sit 27 points clear of Aberdeen at the top of the Scottish Premiership.

Meanwhile, back at Anfield the moneymen are presumably cooking up more inventive schemes to burn through the tv money as quickly as possible.

Harry Kane extends one season wonder to 3 years

Flash in the pan Harry Kane has now scored 19 goals so far this season following his brace in Spurs’ 3-2 win over Everton on Sunday.

“There are no easy games in the Premier League, and I’m just happy to be on the score sheet” sniffed Kane after the match. A stock phrase the Premier League’s leading goal scorer has memorised word for word having regurgitated it almost every weekend for the last three years.

Cautious not to jump the gun, pundits are in no rush to mutter Kane’s name in the same breath as the likes of Sergio Aguero, with the most optimistic forecast predicting Kane should be able to shake the one season wonder tag after another 3 or 4 more prolific years.

While he waits for the adulation and recognition that he surely deserves to hurry itself up and roll on in, and with no need to brush up on his finishing, Kane will instead be dedicating all his time to practicing his handshake routines with team-mate Dele Alli…..

EPLpod: Alexis Sanchez spits the dummy, Arsenal fans follow suit

After being banished to the bench following a fall out with his team mates, Alexis Sanchez had the perfect view to watch Liverpool leap frog Arsenal into 4th place, Tyrone Mings and Zlatan Ibrahimovic are apparently mortal enemies, and Harry Kane continues his impressive one season wonder, which is now in its third year.

For all this and more burger fuelled insight listen to the latest episode of EPLpod below:

EPLpod: Paul Pogba gets a plate thrown at him

Paul Pogba won’t be refusing an autograph anytime soon after having a plate thrown at him by a fan he had snubbed in a restaurant, Leicester remember they’re champions at the worst possible time for Liverpool, and Mike from EPLpod gets “Moonlighted” after being stripped of all but one podcast award.

Listen to the latest episode of EPLpod below:

EPLpod: Ibrahimovic is so money

*Drum roll*

“And the winner is……. La La Land EPLpod!!”

Big Zlats and Manchester United weren’t the only ones picking up silverware over the weekend after EPLpod scooped up four awards at the Canadian Podcast Awards: An awards ceremony that might, or might not exist.

Something that definitely does exist is Chelsea’s unerring march to the Championship, Harry Kane’s appetitie for hat-tricks and Claudio Ranieri being unceremoniously dumped on the way home from Seville.

Listen to the latest episode of EPLpod below:

EPLpod: Where did it all go wrong for poor old Claudio Ranieri?

Mike and Paul from EPLpod discuss Claudio Ranieri’s surprise sacking from Leicester just 9 months after being crowned Premier League champions.

Elsewhere, the gents tuck into ‘piegate’ and Paul is setting up a FIFA tournement. So if you fancy testing yourself against the might of EPLpod, get involved by emailing Paul: paulmetcalfe416@gmail.com,

Listen to the latest episode of EPLpod below: