Category: Featured

Featured posts

  • EPLpod: English teams dominate Champs league (except Liverpool) Pt. 2

    EPLpod: English teams dominate Champs league (except Liverpool) Pt. 2

    Mike and Paul from EPLpod take in this weeks Champions League action which saw English clubs almost complete a clean sweep in Europe, though Liverpool could only manage a draw against Spartak.

    No such problems for Manchester United during there visit to Russia after they swatted aside CSKA 4-1. Elsewhere, Harry Kane scored his 100th hat-trick in as many days, Michy Batshuayi left it late for Chelsea inflicting pain on former team-mate Diego Costa watching in the stands at Atletico, and City beat Shakhtar while Benjamin Mendy got into a twitter spat with a journalist.

    Lastly, muck spreaders Mike and Paul look to have ousted Sir Ben Teague from the EPLpod after concocting a fake scandal around a child labour content mill.

    Listen to the latest episode of EPLpod below:

  • Liverpool keeper wondering just how shit his team mates have to get before being given chance

    Liverpool keeper wondering just how shit his team mates have to get before being given chance

    With Liverpool’s Simon Mignolet and Loris Karius taking turns to see who can be more awful between the sticks so far this season, third choice keeper Danny Ward has been left wondering just how dire things need to become before he’s finally given a chance by manager Jurgen Klopp.

    Mignolet’s latest clangers came during Liverpool’s nervy 3-2 win over Leicester City on the weekend. Mignolet, who had threatened to finally banish comical errors from his game, was back to his bungling best when he flapped at a corner like a salmon out of water to gift Leicester striker Shinji Okazaki with a tap in. Not content with that glaring error, Mignolet almost cost his side the win after clattering into Jamie Vardy and giving away a penalty. On that occasion the Belgian stopper redeemed himself and earned a much needed and well deserved break.

    Meanwhile, Karius who was originally signed by Klopp as Mignolet’s replacement, hasn’t faired much better. Karius was brought back in to the starting line up for Liverpool’s Champions League match against Spartak Moscow, and repaid his managers faith by promptly conceding on the oppositions first shot at goal. Fernando’s free kick was heading nowhere near the top corner, but somehow Karius still managed to find himself picking the ball out of the net.

    A source inside the club confirmed Ward will be given a chance, but not until both Mignolet and Karius prove that they can consistently make a complete hash of things every week, not just most weeks. A target they are said to be edging closer and closer to.

  • Jay Rodriguez slammed for not being a lying, cheating scumbag

    Jay Rodriguez slammed for not being a lying, cheating scumbag

    Boy next door and all round good egg Jay Rodriguez was the subject of growing criticism on Monday evening after failing to con officials into awarding him a penalty during West Brom’s 2-0 loss to Arsenal at the Emirates.

    The shameful incident occurred while the game was still scoreless, when Arsenal defender Shkodran Mustafi’s sliding tackle brought down Rodriguez inside the box. Instead of rolling around the ground and feigning injury like any proper, dishonest footballer should, Rodriguez not only got back to his feet, but even had the nerve to get off a shot which ended up hitting the post.

    Rodriguez’ actions have been rightly condemned by pundits and fans alike, with one source stating that it was honesty like this that make other players look bad and can’t go unpunished.

    In a stunning admission in his post match interview, West Brom boss Tony Pulis revealed that he insists on his players actually being honest. “We tell our players not to roll about. He still wanted to score but once he has missed the referee should pull it back,” said a naive Pulis to a laughing press pack.

    Should Rodriguez resist the urge to become professionally deceitful, and instead continue to act in such an honest manner, he’ll only serve to prove that he’ll never have what it takes to compete with the lying bastards that reside at football’s highest levels.

  • EPLpod: Who needs Diego when you have Alvaro Mora-trick?!

    EPLpod: Who needs Diego when you have Alvaro Mora-trick?!

    With Mike taking a much needed, and well earned break up in cottage country, Paul and Ben are left with some big shoes to fill in the EPLpod studio.

    The chaps take in all the weekends Premier League action which saw Pep’s Manchester City score their 100th goal of the season much to the envy of goalless Palace, Liverpool continue to insist that defending is over rated and Jose Mourinho gets his marching orders once again at St’Mary’s.

  • Mourinho insists on shaking hands with everyone inside stadium after being sent off

    Mourinho insists on shaking hands with everyone inside stadium after being sent off

    Jose Mourinho was sent to the stands during Manchester United’s 1-0 win over Southampton on Saturday, but the manager refused to make his way down the tunnel until he had shaken hands with every single one of the 31,930 in attendance at St Mary’s.

    Mourinho was given his marching orders late on after making the grave decision to abandon his technical area and encroach onto the pitch. However, Mourinho, well known for his polite manners and insistence on pleasantries, was not about to be robbed of the opportunity to grasp hands and make a spectacle of himself. Instead, making sure he didn’t miss a single soul, Mourinho painstakingly made his way around the entire stadium earnestly shaking hands with both sets of fans, match stewards and even the guys way up in the commentary box.

    This is not the first time Mourinho has been sent off, having also been sent to the stands against Burnley and West Ham last season. However, keen to learn his lessons from those previous experience, this was the first time Mourinho managed to conduct such an exhaustive handshaking routine.

    Speaking after the game, and clearly tired from all the handshaking, Mourinho barely had enough energy to muster an explanation for his actions. “Craig Pawson [the referee] told me to leave, so I left,” he said humbly.

    Later on, in a statement released by United, a spokesperson was at pains to insist Mourinho’s shaking hands with thousands of people was just part of the managers kind nature, and was in no way a ploy to waste time as Southampton searched for a late equaliser.

  • Nobody safe from Guardiola’s tactical instructions as ball boy cops an ear full

    Nobody safe from Guardiola’s tactical instructions as ball boy cops an ear full

    An innocent ball boy was the latest casualty in a long list of victims to receive unsolicited tactical advice from Pep Guardiola as Manchester City steamrolled their way to a 5-0 victory over Crystal Palace at the Etihad on Saturday.

    Frustrated by his charges inability to adequately carry out his encyclopaedia sized pre-match tactical monologue, Guardiola instead turned his attention to an unwitting ball boy who was unfortunate enough to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Something – as Guardiola was only too keen to point out – the ball boy would have avoided, had he listened to the managers plans the first time round. A plan which devoted an entire chapter explicitly detailing where one should be and at what time.

    “If you analyse the first 30 minutes of the first half you’d say we’re not ready to be at the top. The ball boys were slow, everybody was slow,” huffed Pep as he prepared to hunker down for a long evening reprimanding all the clubs’ ball boys.

    And it’s not just the ball boys who have been on the end of a withering ‘Pep’ talk. The canteen staff have been inundated with tips such as the virtues of letting the tea leafs “circulate and breathe” sufficiently, while the kit man has been told in no uncertain terms that he needs to add far more depth to the number of shirts in his rotation.

    While some have criticised Guardiola’s overbearing, hands on tactical approach it’s hard to argue with the results: City have now scored 16 goals and conceded none over the course of their last three Premier League games. Something that would never be achieved without the ball boys, kit man and canteen staff all singing from the same Guardiola hymn sheet.

  • EPLpod: United Fans! Stop Singing about Lukaku’s manhood

    EPLpod: United Fans! Stop Singing about Lukaku’s manhood

    Knowing a thing or two about being dropped on their heads, Mike and Paul from EPLpod chat about concussions as Rio Ferdinand gets set to swap heading a leather ball for a living to being punched in the head for a living.

    The chaps also talk about the size of Romelu Lukaku’s penis after footballs latest brush with racism, while Barcelona players parade around in t-shirts that pay tribute to Ousmane Dembélé’s injured hamstring. #PrayForOusmane.

    Listen to the latest episode of EPLpod below:

  • Infighting at Everton as squad argue over who’s on Rooney lift duty after driving ban

    Infighting at Everton as squad argue over who’s on Rooney lift duty after driving ban

    Everton’s season has been thrown into chaos after a crisis meeting with senior members of the squad ended with players having to be physically separated from each other after an argument erupted over who will be responsible for ferrying Wayne Rooney back and forth to training following the former England strikers ban for drink driving.

    Originally the crisis meeting was called early on Monday morning at the club’s training ground to pin point exactly how Everton have managed to be quite so shit so far this season despite an outlay of £150m on new players over the summer.

    However, with players refusing to believe Everton’s woful start to the season could some how be their fault, they instead turned to drawing straws to see who would be given the undesirable task of driving around the club’s captain.

    A source close to the club revealed that the meeting quickly escalated into an all out brawl when Phil Jagielka refused to accept he had been unfortunate enough to pull the short straw, accusing fellow defender Ashley Williams of rigging the draw.

    Rooney, who appeared in court while the team meeting took place released a statement after he was was handed a two year driving ban and ordered to perform 100 hours of unpaid work as part of a 12-month community order.

    Rooney’s court sketch. The Judge insisted this is not part of Rooney’s punishment

    “I want publicly to apologise for my unforgivable lack of judgment in driving while over the legal limit. It was completely wrong. Of course I accept the sentence of the court and hope that I can make some amends through my community service,” said Rooney.

    It is believed Rooney is preparing an equally grovelling apology for his new chauffeur, Phil Jagielka.

  • EPLpod: Lukaku keeps bangin’ them in

    EPLpod: Lukaku keeps bangin’ them in

    After a night out painting to the town red, the massively hungover EPLpod boyz muster just about enough energy to chat about the weekends Premier League action, when both Manchester clubs flexed their muscles, Chelsea and Arsenal’s clash ended in a rather anticlimactic 0-0 draw and Crystal Palace still can’t get a win despite a change in management.

    The chaps also discuss mancscaping after it was revealed Real Madrid youngster Marco Asensio was “injured” due to a infected pimple from shaving his legs.

    Listen to the latest episode of EPLpod below:

  • EPLpod: English teams dominate Champs league (except Liverpool)

    EPLpod: English teams dominate Champs league (except Liverpool)

    Mike and Paul from EPLpod weigh in on Roy Hodgson’s appointment at Crystal Palace, Liverpool’s failure to make it a clean sweep for English sides in the Champions League and what game week five has in store this weekend in the Premier League. All this while the guys try to shoot an adult jazz film. It really is god’s work.

    Listen to the latest episode of EPLpod below: