Paul and Mike from EPLpod take in the mid week action as Barcelona find out it’s much harder to score a bunch of goals against Juve than it is PSG which has left Neymar in tears, and Leicester’s fairytale finally comes to end against a resolute Atletico.
Back in Premier League land, the guys chat about John Terry’s announcement that he is to leave Chelsea at the end of the season.
In today’s lesson: Lightening never strikes twice. Never.
1. The second leg was a complete waste of everyones time. Juventus have’t conceded a goal in 8 of their previous Champions League game let alone conceding at least three goals in one. They’ve now gone nearly 9 hours without conceding in the Champions League. What were you expecting from the Italians?
2. You know you are in trouble when Dani Alves is doing this to your bench before a ball is even kicked.
3. Lionel Messi spent part of the match trying to recreate Robbie Fowler’s infamous ‘white lines’ goal celebration. The rest of the time he was carelessly firing shots high and wide, only finding the target on one occasion out of 7 attempts. Perhaps there was more than just paint in those lines on the Camp Nou pitch. Messi has a great deal to learn.
4. If Buffon decides to knock it on the head and hang up his gloves at the end of this season, he will do so having never conceded a goal to Lionel Messi.
5. Neymar was blubbering like a baby at the final whistle. Good job he had a team mate on hand to help mop up the tears.
At least two rats have fulfilled their dying wish of being slung at an FC Copenhagen player after receiving the special send off during the Danish Superliga derby between rivals Brondy and FC Copenhagen on Monday.
Time was running out before Brondby supporters sensed their moment and began throwing the rats at Copenhagen defender Ludwig Augustinsson as he shaped to take a corner kick in the 85th minute. Unfazed by the rodents being hurled in his direction, and with the assistance of team mate Benjamin Verbic, Augustinsson then solemnly kicked the carcasses aside and proceeded with the corner.
Eventually a steward cleared the rats from the edge of the pitch before taking them to their final resting place, thought to be the away changing rooms bin, while FC Copenhagen went on to clinch a 1-0 win in the derby.
“It’s unfortunate that there are some visitors who could not figure out how to behave properly,” complained Brondby’s sports director Troels Bech, who was presumably unaware of the unique funeral arrangements.
The EPLpod boyz take in a momentous weekend of Premier League football as Manchester United dent Chelsea’s title aspirations courtesy of their former badge pointing provocateur Jose Mourinho, Spurs keep the pressure up in emphatic style against Bournemouth and Ross Barkley recovers from a week to forget by jumping in Goodison’s Gwladys Street End.
Elsewhere the boyz talk about moist carrot cake and the folly of cartwheel goal celebrations.
In today’s lesson: A suit and cap combo is strictly prohibited.
1. Picking odd captains is now officially in vogue. The trend, spearheaded by Arsene Wenger when he selected polite choir boy Theo Walcott, has been taken up by Jose Mourinho who went with Fellaini last week before selecting Ashley Young this week who has made just 6 starts for United this season. Not wanting to miss out on the fad, it’s being rumoured that Pep Guardiola is going to push the boundaries even further by giving Joe Hart the arm band for his side next week.
2. Antonio Conte got his tactics all wrong, but his most glaring and disturbing error was clearly that suit and cap combo.
3. United might have to rely on an old and “too tired” Zlatan Ibrahimovic lumbering around most weeks, but they do have the Premier League’s highest scoring teenager in Marcus Rashford. The youngster ran the Chelsea defence ragged and showed the kind of composure you’d expect from the Zlatan for his goal.
4. Somewhere, deep down in Ander Herrera’s warm and cozy pocket you will find Eden hazard curled up having a nap. When Hazard wasn’t in Herrera’s pocket, the Spaniard was busy getting away with a questionable handball, setting up Rashford with a sublime through ball and scoring his first goal in 32 Premier League games.
5. Is there anything that would motivate Jose Mourinho more than the opportunity to potentially muck up a rivals title tilt. No, no there is not.
Granda’s players will have been breathing a whole lot easier and making plans for remaining in La Liga after new manager Tony Adams unveiled his dad dancing strategy in his first training session this week which is almost a cast iron guarantee that the club will stave off relegation from the Spanish top flight.
Granada currently sit 2nd from bottom, 7 points from safety, but this seemingly insurmountable challenge will now be a walk – or, more accurately, a dance – in the park after bearing witness to Adams’ fancy footwork.
Granada host mid-table Celta Vigo on Sunday in Adams’ first game. You can expect his side to dance their way to 3 points and begin their ascent up the table.
Watch Adams busting a move in the video below.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BS6UCwEDCKo/
Non-league Billericay Town have proven that all you need to guarantee immediate silverware is a pre-match team sing along orchestrated by a maniacal owner/manager and the threat of violence.
Billericay came from behind to beat beat Tonbridge 8-3 in the Ryman League Cup Final after getting fired up for the big match by singing R. Kelly’s “World’s Greatest”, not in part, but in its entirety.
Owner and manager Glenn Tamplin, who took over the club back in December and has splashed the cash to bring in former Premier League players Jamie O’Hara and Paul Konchesky, leads the motivational sing-along and calls for his charges to “fucking rip out the heart of the enemy”
The R. Kelly sing-along can be heard from the 1min 30 sec mark.
https://youtu.be/t48GzrhCyR4?t=1m26s
After seeing the instant success the R. Kelly sing-along can bring, rumours are circulating that Arsene Wenger is at this very moment sending his squad the lyrics in preparation of their Monday night game against Middlesbrough.
Mike and Paul from EPLpod take in the midweek action as Borussia Dortmund are forced to play their Champions League match against Monaco via a UEFA text message the day after their team bus is hit by a bomb, Leicester City fans clash with Police in Madrid, and Arsenal continue to troll their own fans after a dismal 3-0 loss at Palace.
Elsewhere the guys talk about the joint bid by Canada, the US and Mexico to host the 2026 World Cup and whether the Canadians might actually score a goal this time round.
In today’s lesson: Anglo-Spanish relations take a pelting.
1. Any thoughts that Leicester fans might represent England in a more civilised manner on the continent were soon dashed after turning the city centre upside down and clashing with Police. Such pleasantries chanted at the locals included: “Gibraltar is our, fuck of you Spanish bastards, Gibraltar is our.”
2. No matter what he might think, Mark Albrighton is not going to beat Antoine Griezmann in a foot race. And while the contact on Griezmann for the Atletico penalty was outside the box, Albrighton never should have made the challenge.
3. Craig Shakespeare is the quintessential middle-aged Englishmen on his jollies. All that was missing from Shakespeare’s sun-kissed look was a hanky on his head and belligerence. Though any lack of belligerence was more than made up for by his fans in the video above. Shakespeare’s tan moments away from the lobster look.
4. Atletico really don’t concede goals at home in the Champions League. In the last 21 games played at the Vicente Calderon, they’ve come away with immaculate, pristine bright clean sheets on 18 occasions.
5. Leicester failed to get a single shot on target, but returning to the King Power stadium just a goal down will give them plenty of encouragement. However, if the fairytale is to continue they’ll likely have to do it without the bedrock of their defence as Robert Huth will be suspended, and Wes Morgan might still be out injured.
Aberdeen club Banks o’ Dee FC under 19’s were coming to terms with the fact that they might have produced one of the most wayward shots in football history, after one of their efforts washed up over 1000 miles away in the far north of Norway.
The shot, no doubt intended for the top corner, instead flew over the fence and into the River Dee before making it’s way into the North Sea, then finally reaching it’s unintended target of Norway.
Johnny Mikalsen emailed the club a picture of the ball but was keen to praise the teams kicking prowess rather than their inability to find the back of the net.
“You properly have one of the best long distance kickers in the world. A friend of mine found a football with your club name on by the seaside. It has travelled quite a distance. We are located 1,800km (1,118 miles) north of Aberdeen, on an island called Vanna, 10km north of Tromso, the capital of North Norway.”
Banks o’ Dee FC secretary Tom Ewan insisted the news came as a surprise. However, the club is now braced for an influx of footballs from across the globe that reached unintended targets.