Eat My Goal

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  • Sir Alex the John Lennon of football claims Jurgen Klopp

    Sir Alex the John Lennon of football claims Jurgen Klopp

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    Speaking ahead of his first game against Manchester United as Liverpool manager, Jurgen Klopp gave a glowing review of Sir Alex Ferguson.

    Once he had gotten over the accent during a chat with the Manchester United legend, Klopp said that it was a great honour to speak with Sir Alex, especially as a young manager.

    “Maybe he’s the greatest ever” purred Klopp before claiming that perhaps Ferguson was “the John Lennon of football.”

    Comparing a Manchester legend to a Liverpool legend? Klopp, ever endearing, can just about get away with this one.

    Watch Klopp’s high praise of Ferguson below.

  • Naughty! Gary Lineker makes cheeky masturbation quip on MOTD

    Naughty! Gary Lineker makes cheeky masturbation quip on MOTD

    Lineker-masturbation-joke

    You just couldn’t help yourself could you Gary?

    Just a day after announcing his divorce, Gary Linekar is already talking about masturbation, maybe even using fleshlights, if you’re considering the same it might be worth checking out some coupons, you could save 20% once you spend $100 on this merchandise. I’m sure it won’t be long before he’s admitting to watching videos from places like https://www.hdpornvideo.xxx/categories/616/sleeping live on Match of the Day too.

    While looking at the handball decision against Newcastle’s Chancel Mbemba that resulted in a penalty, Shearer – in relation to the official hand ball rules – innocently read out “when the player uses his hands or arms to make himself bigger”. While it was impressively quick thinking on his feet, it’s not something always worth joking about – plenty of people out there are addicted and looking at how to quit masturbation, through many of the online resources available.

    Either way, this was a line Lineker just couldn’t resist making a joke about. Understandable though. I’m sure everyone has spent some time on sites like HD Sex Video to help keep them tiding over during those, ahem, lonely nights. People want to be able to get some relief after all. Still, perhaps it was not the best time to make such a comment, especially with such a wide age range watching the show. Either way, if you’re thinking about the situation and want to give it a look yourself you can watch the filth below on Youtube.

    https://youtu.be/o39Jy1iXr8k

  • “You too, fat man!” Louis van Gaal has a pop at Journalist for criticising Rooney

    “You too, fat man!” Louis van Gaal has a pop at Journalist for criticising Rooney

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    Louis van Gaal rarely fails to entertain (unlike his team) during interviews with the media. And, following Manchester United’s 3-3 draw with Newcastle, in which his side squandered a two goal lead, van Gaal was his usual angry self as he rounded on a supposedly chubby journalist for having a go at Wayne Rooney.

    “We don’t speak anymore about Rooney. You have criticised him. I don’t.” seethed Van Gaal as he left the interview, before rudely pointing at a Journalist and adding “You too, fat man!”

    Watch van Gaal’s childish remark below.

  • Ref provides classy back heel pass during build up to Wigan goal vs Sheffield United!

    Ref provides classy back heel pass during build up to Wigan goal vs Sheffield United!

    ref-back-heel-pass-Wigan-Sheffield-United
    Referee Andy Woolmer just couldn’t help himself but get involved in a six goal thriller after unwittingly providing a back heel pass in the build to a Wigan goal vs Sheffield United on Tuesday evening.

    The goal, finished off superbly by Wigan’s Will Grigg, stood and proved key as Wigan shared the spoils 3-3 with the Blades.

    Watch the classy back heel pass by the ref below.

  • From the vault: 8 years ago today Ronaldo scores his one and only hat-trick for Man United

    From the vault: 8 years ago today Ronaldo scores his one and only hat-trick for Man United

    Ronaldo-hat-trick-Man-United-Newcastle
    How Manchester United could do with this guy to inject a bit of excitement into Louis van Gaal’s snoozy football when they take on Newcastle United this evening.

    Despite racking up 84 goals in United’s colours, Cristiano Ronaldo only managed one hat-trick which, coincidentally came against Newcastle 8 years ago to the day. On that occasion, Ronaldo’s hat-trick lead to a 6-0 thumping of the Magpies.

    Watch Ronaldo’s hat-trick below.

  • Robert Lewandowski pulls off oh so skillful flying back heel volley

    Robert Lewandowski pulls off oh so skillful flying back heel volley

    Lewandowski-flying-volley-Bayern-training
    Robert Lewandowski here making a supremely difficult volley look ever so simply during a recent training session with Bayern Munich.

    Following the winter break in the Bundesliga, Lewandowski will be leading Bayern’s front line as they get back to walking away with the Championship beginning with Hamburg on January 22nd.

    Watch Lewandowski’s brilliant volley below.

  • Paul Pogba brings out that dance once again after bagging superb goal for Juve

    Paul Pogba brings out that dance once again after bagging superb goal for Juve

    Paul-pogba-dabbin-goal-Juventus-Sampdoria
    Paul Pogba’s dabbin dance is becoming a common sight of late, as Juventus made it nine Serie A wins on the bounce following their 2-1 defeat of Sampdoria on Sunday. Juventus have now climbed to 2nd place in the league, two points behind leaders Napoli.

    Paul Pogba opened the scoring for Juve after superbly controlling a lofted ball into the box on his chest, before swivelling and volley home.

    Watch Pogba’s fine strike below.

  • “People need digging out!” Scholes left fuming by ‘boring’ Man United

    “People need digging out!” Scholes left fuming by ‘boring’ Man United

    Scholes-angry-rantI’m still getting use to the idea that Paul Scholes actually talks, let alone has the ability to lay into Manchester United with a lengthy rant.

    But lengthy rant is exactly what we got from Scholes, following Manchester United’s dull 1-0 win over Sheffield United in the FA Cup on Saturday, after a late Wayne Rooney penalty saved the embarrassment of a repay against the League 1 side.

    Taking shelter from the rain under an umbrella, Scholes launched into his attack just about avoiding comparison to a certain ‘wolly with a brolly’. “I’d be depressed. It would take me two or three days to get over that performance” said a visibly irritated Paul Scholes as he fumed on the Old Trafford touchline.

    Scholes’ rant left his fellow pundits, Nigel Clough and Owen Hargreaves, pretty much as spectators as the pent up frustration came flooding out of the former United midfielder.

    Watch Scholes’ angry rant below.

  • Anfield Cat’s bitter rival gives Everton keeper the run around at Goodison

    Anfield Cat’s bitter rival gives Everton keeper the run around at Goodison

    Goodison-Cat-Fa-Cup-Everton-
    During Everton’s 2-0 win over Dagenham and Redbridge in the FA Cup a cat invaded Goodison and then proved Everton keeper Joel Robles was no match when it comes to cat-like reflexes after evading capture.

    The Goodison Cat was reportedly seeking a cat fight with the another Merseyside cat last spotted in Anfield a couple years back.

    Watch the Goodison Cat’s pitch invasion below.

  • Whether you like it or not, Zlatan is signing your hat

    Whether you like it or not, Zlatan is signing your hat


    A fan boy dares to get a selfie with Zlatan, and the gamble pays off as the PSG striker whips his hat off and signs it. Proving there might just be a way to make those god awful Gucci hats look good after all.