Eat My Goal

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  • Ronaldo miles ahead of Messi in tax evasion stakes

    Ronaldo miles ahead of Messi in tax evasion stakes

    Ronaldo miles ahead of Messi in tax evasion stakes

    Posted by Eat My Goal on Wednesday, 14 June 2017

  • EPLpod: The return of Alex Hunter

    EPLpod: The return of Alex Hunter

    The EPLpod boyz chat about England’s day out in the blazing sun as captain Harry Kane rescues a point against Scotland, while England’s U20 do what no other England side has done since 1966 and actually win a bloody tournament.

    Elsewhere, the gents discuss all the latest movers and shakers in the the transfer market and also talk about the return of Alex Hunter in FIFA 18.

    Listen to the latest episode of EPLpod below:

  • Scotland 2-2 England: 5 things you should’ve learned

    Scotland 2-2 England: 5 things you should’ve learned

    In today’s lesson: Don’t cut class early.

    1. The only winner here for the first 90 minutes was the glorious sun slowly cooking 22 British players’ skin. Luckily the long shadows of Hampden Park crept in to offer shade and a frantic finale.
    2. England fans entertained themselves at the expense of a steward with hair of a certain colour.

    3. Joe Hart gave the kind of performance you’d expect of someone who just spent an entire sabbatical devouring mountains of heavy pasta ‘n’ sauce in Italy.
    4. Yes Leigh Griffiths, but see previous point.
    5. Wee Gordon Strachan found out what it’s like to get Kaned!

  • Heartless Conte dumps Costa via text

    Heartless Conte dumps Costa via text

    The seemingly never ending on again, off again relationship between Antonio Conte and Diego Costa looks to finally be over after the Chelsea manager chose to take the cowards way out by dumping his striker with the coldest of text messages.

    Despite Costa racking up 22 goals in all competitions, the pair have endured a strained relationship over the course of the season. Tension first surfaced back in January when Costa was dropped from the team amid complaints over a back injury which just so happened to coincide with a club in China making kissy faces in his direction.

    Conte appears to have never recovered from Costa’s wandering eye, and, instead of being a real gent and breaking up with Costa in person, the Italian waited until Costa was on international duty with Spain before sending his impersonal text message which Spanish paper AS claim to have got their hands on:

    “Hi Diego, I hope you are well. Thanks for the seasono [sic] we spent together. Good luck for the next year but you are not in my plan.”

    Cold. Ice cold from Conte.

    A distraught Costa is facing even more heart brake after old flame Atletico Madrid’s hopes of rekindling their relationship were dashed following the Spanish sides transfer ban being upheld. Instead, Costa will have to make do with the warm embrace of Chinese side Tianjin Quanjian and the £575,000 wage packet that comes with it.

  • EPLpod: The Workers Cup filmmakers talk Qatar World Cup

    EPLpod: The Workers Cup filmmakers talk Qatar World Cup

    Taking a break from discussing transfer speculation and bags of milk, Mike and Paul from EPLpod take on an altogether more serious topic in the migrant workers plight in Qatar ahead of the 2022 World Cup. The guys talk to the filmmakers of The Workers Cup, a documentary which focuses on the dreadful working conditions migrants are subjected to as they build infrastructure for the Qatar World Cup.

    Listen to the latest episode of EPLpod below:

  • Real Madrid 4-1 Juventus: 5 things you should’ve learned

    Real Madrid 4-1 Juventus: 5 things you should’ve learned

    In today’s lesson: The football gods have forsaken Gigi Buffon

    1. Corruption is evidently still rife within football and Uefa is clearly not immune to it. The evidence to support this was giving the Black Eyed Peas the go ahead to perform before kick off which was nothing short of scandalous.

    2. Cristiano Ronaldo commentates on himself because of course Cristiano Ronaldo commentates on himself. One can assume with reasonable certainty that in his spare time Ronny is busy dubbing over commentary on all 600 of his career goals.

    “One chance. BANG ?”

    3. Mario Mandzukic will live out the rest of his days knowing he scored arguably the greatest goal in a Champions League final that meant absolutely nothing.

    4. Gigi Buffon will likely have to play on into his fifties if he is to get his hands on ‘ol big ears. This was the third time Buffon has suffered defeat at the final hurdle, the first time coming some 14 years ago.

    5. If you are going to win the European Cup and insist on bringing your baby on the pitch to celebrate, then it is absolutely mandatory that you then place said baby inside the European Cup. Well done Marcelo for following protocol.
    Marcelo puts baby inside Champions League Cup

  • EPLpod: Real Madrid crush poor old Gigi Buffon’s soul

    EPLpod: Real Madrid crush poor old Gigi Buffon’s soul

    High on chips and salsa, the EPLpod boyz dissect the Champions League final as Real Madrid get their hands on the coveted trophy for a 12th time, Mandzukic’s wonder goal is all but forgotten, while Buffon is left disappointed for a third time in the final.

    The other key talking points were of course the Black Eyed Peas unwelcome appearance before kick off, Mike’s apparent ability to get hole of some class A drugs and Canada’s insistence on selling milk by the bag!

    Listen to the latest educational EPLpod below:

  • EPLpod: Congrats Huddersfield, you’re swimming with sharks now!

    EPLpod: Congrats Huddersfield, you’re swimming with sharks now!

    Huddersfield Town are in the top flight for the first time in 45 years after edging out Reading in a penalty shoot out worth as much as a small countries GDP, Arsene Wenger expertly trolls the Wenger Out brigade by signing on the dotted line for another two years, and Real Madrid get ready to take on Juventus in the Champions League final minus the services of Gareth Bale.

    Listen to the latest episode of EPLpod below:

  • Will Arsene Wenger’s record FA Cup win save his bacon?

    Will Arsene Wenger’s record FA Cup win save his bacon?

    The EPLpod boyz take in the FA Cup final where Arsene Wenger might just have claimed a stay of execution after picking up a record 7th FA Cup win at Chelsea’s expense.

    Elsewhere, with the transfer silly season about to begin, Manchester City proved they’re not waiting around for anyone by announcing the signing of the talented Bernardo Silva from Monaco for a cool £40m, while a string of City players are shown the exit door.

    Listen to the latest and greatest episode of EPLpod below:

  • Messi jail sentence could spark transfer battle between prison teams

    Messi jail sentence could spark transfer battle between prison teams

    Lionel Messi has likely put prison football teams across Spain on red alert after seeing his appeal against tax fraud rejected by Spain’s Supreme Court on Wednesday, throwing his Barcelona future into uncertainty.

    Messi and his old man Jorge were found guilty last July on three counts of tax fraud between 2007 and 2009 to the tune of 4.1 million euros on image rights and were sentenced to 21 months in prison by a Catalan court.

    Speaking during his trial back in 2016 Messi remained tight lipped over his future. “I only worried about playing football,” grumbled the Argentine which has been taken as a ‘come and get me plea’ by prison teams.

    Lucrative prison deals are now reportedly being drawn up which could include unlimited commissary, 24 hour screening of Barca TV and private shower access.

    However, don’t expect to see Messi ditching the claret and blue stripes of Barcelona for the prison black and white any time soon. As, under Spanish law, sentences under two years can be served under probation.