The Weekend’s tasty bits – United Top, Messi croked & Non league heroics

Manchester United Top

Anthony Martial seems to be able to do no wrong for Louis van Gaal’s red army. Unable to grab a fifth goal in five appearances for Manchester United, he instead helped Wayne Rooney breathe a little easier. During Manchester United’s 3-0 win over hapless Sunderland, Martial showed his silky touch after bamboozling two defenders before firing a square ball that Wayne Rooney had little choice over whether he scored or not, ending a 999 minute goal draught.

“He’s been incredible. He’s a 19-year-old lad who doesn’t speak English” parped a grateful Rooney of Martial after the win adding: “He’ll be a big player for us throughout the season and in the future.” No pressure then Anthony.

Rooney’s goal takes him to 171 in the league for Manchester United, joint third with Dennis Law in the all time leading scorers chart.

Canary rescues pigeon

Jonny Howson proved birds of a feather flock together during Norwich’s visit to Upton Park. Howson brought a momentary pause in play in order to help a stricken pigeon on the pitch. After such a humane gesture from Howson, he now goes firmly in the good egg standings with Eat My Goal.

The pigeon is said to be making a strong recovery thanks to Howson’s heroics. “I expect to be match fit in a few days” cooed the pigeon. It’ll No doubt be causing a nuisance on the Upton Park pitch in the very near future.

Non League keeper scores incredible overhead kick equaliser

Non league Holbeach United keeper Ricky Drury earned his side a replay in an FA Cup qualifier with Worcester City in the most dramatic of circumstances. A goal down and deep into injury time the keeper scored an incredible overhead kick to make it 1-1. I would allow myself to get even more excited about this remarkable goal, if it were not for the fact that it happened to be against my home town Worcester City!

McClaren has a panic attack

Steven McClaren almost has a fit as a Newcastle player dares to run off the pitch during a substitution instead of walking. Unfortunately for McClaren, the flapping about didn’t waste enough time as Chelsea rescued a point after coming back from two goals down to draw 2-2.

Messi croked

The never injured Leo Messi managed to get himself injured after just 10 minutes during Barcelona’s 2-1 win over Las Palmes. A nervous Messi will be on the unfamiliar treatment table for 6-8 weeks and will be in a race for fitness ahead of El Clasico on 22nd November.

Final word

John Terry, already loved by one and all, further extends his appeal to the masses by parking his Range Rover in a disabled parking spot.